Don't Let This Crash Break You
by FABThunderbird
Summary: Gordon Tracy is breaking down. He simply cannot deal with his injuries from the hydrofoil crash. His brothers hate seeing Gordon so vulnerable and they want nothing more than to bring their brother back to who he was before this terrible accident
1. Chapter 1

"Don't Let This Crash Break You."

Gordon Tracy is breaking down. He simply cannot deal with his injuries from the hydrofoil crash. His brother Alan hates seeing Gordon so vulnerable, and wants nothing more than to bring his brother back to who he was before this terrible accident.

I do not own the Thunderbirds. I am making no profit from this story.

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Chapter 1

Warm tears ran down my face, this is the only realisation I have that I am alive. A sudden piercing buzz pounds through my head, causing my heart to pulse loudly. An overwhelming burst of heat engulfs my body. The weight that seems to be forcing my eyelids shut is unbearable, as all I want to do at this current moment is escape this never ending patch of darkness before me. The tears are making my eyes itchy and I instruct my hands to wipe them away. However, they don't seem to respond. I want to call out and ask for help, but my mouth refuses to open. That piercing buzz becomes louder and I want to cover my ears to ease that terrible noise, but I cannot. My heart starts to pulse rapidly, and the rise of heat strangling my body makes me realise that I must be burning to death. I cannot escape this hell of burning. My body doesn't move anymore, and I can't breathe. Is this what dying feels like?

"Gordon, calm down." That voice seems to echo around my pounding head, and the voice seems to bring me back from the depths of the darkness. "Gordon. Are you really awake? Or is this a dream." As my vision begins to clear and the tears start to dry a face appears before me, and I'm greeted by my gleaming younger brother.

"A..la..n" I choke out wincing at how painfully dry my throat is.

"Welcome back bro." Alan smiles. "You'll never guess what you've done to Dad. I mean the amount of grey hairs you've given him over the past two months is ridiculous." He chuckles.

I pause thinking about what Alan has said. "Two m..m…" I wheeze

"Months?" Alan asks lifting an eyebrow. I attempt a nod as talking seems far to painful at the moment. "Yes Gordo. You've been out of it for two months. You've even missed your birthday. You know It's been so weird having to live without your pranks, Scott starting to get used to it though. Which means, that we must pull the ultimate prank in celebration of your return!" Alan smiles wickedly.

A warm feeling around my heart shows a sense of pride towards my younger brother. Even though that cunning smile of his feels me with worry, about this prank he has planned for Scott. However, It's nice to see Alan again. He looks different, more grown up. Which in a way doesn't suit his childlike personality.

I decide that I want to sit up in this uncomfortable bed. Perhaps once I start moving around I will start to feel my limbs again. I begin to slowly sit up, but Alan firmly grasps onto my shoulders pushing me back down.

"I..want..up" I tremble fighting back the tears that were beginning to brew.

"You can't Gordon, it's too soon." Alan replies.

"Why?" I ask finding my voice, now that anger seems to be taking over my body.

"You've only just woken up." Alan says as he grips tightly around my shoulders.

"So, I've just had a two month long rest. I'm sure I'll be alright by now." I push myself against Alan's grasp, but only managing little success I slam my head back down on the pillow.

"Gordon, Stop!" Alan shouts as tears begin to pour down his cheeks.

"Why are you being like this. Just let me try!" I shout back trying to ignore this pounding headache and this painful thumping going on in my chest.

"I can't." Alan sobs

"Why are you giving me that look?" I ask. Finding it difficult to breath now that my breaths have become shorter.

"What look?"

"That look... when you... hide... something."

"No I'm not!"

"What..is wrong with…. me, Alan ?" I plead, trembling for an answer.

Suddenly, a loud burst of a door thunders through my ears and Alan looks towards the direction of the noise. "Scott. He won't listen to me!" Alan yells realising his grasp from my shoulders to cover his sobbing cries with his hands. I stop, and I feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

"It's okay sprout." Scott reassures. I dart my eyes around in hope that I can see my older brother, but all I can see is this ridiculously bright ceiling light. "Hey, why don't you go and get some fresh air, until Dad gets here." Scott continues. I then hear the sound of a door creaking shut, and then after faint beeping sounds from hospital machines.

"Scott..?" I mumble.

"Yes, I'm here." Scott replies, leaning over my bedside where I can now see him clearly. As I look at my brother I can see the frustration in his eyes and I begin to feel the tears pour down the sides of my face again.

"I'm sorry." I cry. Scott smiles. "I'm just... really…"

"Scared" Scott says gripping tightly around my hand.

"Yes." I agree.

"Me too. And if you want to take your anger out on anyone, do it to me. Not Alan." I nod my head and Scott wipes away my tears away using his thumb.

"Scott?" I ask and Scott raises an eyebrow. "I can't feel my legs."

"Well Gords. I'm pleased to confirm that both of your legs are still present. I can assure you that they haven't been amputated. But remember you've only just woken up. It should take time for feelings to come back. So stop worrying yourself."

"What happened to me ?" I ask as I cannot seem to process any memory of an event that could cause these injuries.

"Well." Scott coughed clearing his throat. "About two months ago you'd been asked to test a brand new hydrofoil boat. And as you were bringing the boat to its top speed the engine blew, causing the boat to loose control and crash into some large boulders. The boat sunk to the bottom of the ocean. You managed to escape, but… you nearly drowned."

"Oh" I say as I watch Scott gaze towards the ground. "I'm sorry" I continue. Scott looks back at me. "Don't be sorry Gordon. It wasn't your fault."

As the conversation between us dies down, Scott's mobile phone begins to ring. He lets go of his grasp around my hand and dives for his phone located in his trouser pocket.

"Hello?" he says answering the call. Pause. "Yes Father, Gordon's awake." Pause. "Sure you can speak to him." Scott places the phone over my ear. "It's Dad, Gords."

"Dad ?" I ask listening to the phone.

"Gordon!" Dad shouts. "I can't believe you're awake. How are you feeling ?"

"Tired." I groan as a sudden feeling of exhaustion overwhelms me.

"Well, I'm not surprised son. I'm really sorry I can't be with you. I was just on my way to the hospital when I received a call about an urgent IR meeting. And..."

"It's alright Dad." I mumble "I've got Scott here."

"I know." Dad replies "Oh, Gordon. Hiram and I have just finished the plans for the international submarine. When I come and see you later I'll show them to you."

"Really." I smile "Can't wait."

"I'll talk to you soon son. I love you."

"Love you to, Dad." As the call ends Scott removes the phone and places it back into his pocket. I gradually begin to shut my eyes as this tiredness suddenly takes over.

"Have some rest Gordon, you've done well today." Scott mumbles.

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The End of Chapter 1.

I hope you enjoy this story. I'm planning this story to be about Gordon dealing with his injures after the hydrofoil accident. It's also about how the Tracy family deals and supports Gordon through his recovery. Let me know what you think about it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 "a living nightmare"

I'm sorry that this chapter has taken a while but finally it's here. This next chapter is all from **Alan's perspective**, I hope you enjoy it.

I do not own the Thunderbirds. I am making no profit from this story.

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It's hard to comprehend what has happened to Gordon. He's broken and fragile. The bruises stain his skin. His broken bones are covered with bandages. The face of my older brother almost seems unrecognisable. I hate it. But what can I do. Father told me that Gordon needs time to heal and that I just need to be with him by his side. I don't think I can even to that. I'm sitting in the corner of this cramped, hospital room, staring through the window, gazing at nothing in particular. My father is the closest to Gordon, he cradles his delicate hand and will occasionally stroke his hair to get it out of his eyes. Scott stands in the middle of the room, arms crossed and frowning. From time to time he paces from one end of the room to the other. I guess he's easing his aching muscles. As for Virgil and John, the pair are sitting on the sofa. Virgil has fallen asleep, he's resting his head against John's shoulder. John is just focused on Gordon, he stares at his broken legs. I suppose he's thinking about what the doctor has just told us moments ago.

The doctor had explained to Gordon all the injuries that he had sustained. Gordon didn't seem to be bothered at all. Although tears kept falling down his cheeks, his expression remained glazed.

After the doctor left, Father told Gordon that he was strong and that he'll be up and walking in no time. I went over to Gordon's bedside to see if I could cheer him up a bit. He looked at me, I smiled and he cried. His sobs made my stomach clench. He looked so vulnerable, I didn't know what I could do. I couldn't hug him because I could hurt him. I just stared at him. John then pulled me away so Virgil could come and speak softly to Gordon, it calmed him down. I'd never known Gordon to be in so much pain. I guess it could be hard for anyone to be told that, you may never get the chance to walk again.

It took a while for his sobs to subside. Virgil continued to whisper words to Gordon until he finally drifted off to sleep. It became an eerie quiet after that. No one spoke about what the doctor had said or what we can do to help Gordon, everyone just kept to themselves.

"I'd hate to leave Gordon like this Father." Scott spoke suddenly. I looked up at Scott who had stopped pacing, he placed his hands on his hips.

"I know son." Father replied. "But you have to go back to work at some point."

Scott's lucky he can escape this dismal place, I don't know why he's so determined to stay.

"We'll let you know if anything happens." John says. Virgil groans as he wakes up from his peaceful slumber.

"Scott, you will be able to come back. And you can tell Gordon all about what you get up to on your little planes."

"They might be little Virgil, but they can go one hell of a speed." Scott says.

"Alright you two, that's enough of that." Father interrupts. "Why don't the pair of you go and get us all some coffee. We could all certainly do with a drink." Scott and Virgil both head for the door.

"I can come with you." John calls "I'd like to stretch my legs. Do you want to come Alan?" I stare at my three older brothers all standing at the doorway. I shake my head and look out the window again.

I watch the rain during this late spring evening. It drizzles and slides delicately down the glass. I'm mesmerised by the patterns it's making. This gives me a chance to think about Gordon. He's changed, and I don't think that he'll ever be his ordinary self again. When he's awake, he looks so strange. He doesn't smile anymore or laugh, he zones out. Sometimes he's angry and he shouts and often he's crying in pain. He's not the brother I used to know anymore, and I hate it. "Are you okay Alan?" Father asks.

"I guess." I reply.

"He'll be alright, your brother." I feel my eyes welling up, I take a deep breath.

"But he won't be walking." I mumble "he'll be different now, not like he was before."

"You don't know that." Father says. I look at him as my anger boils up.

"Of course I do! The doctor said…"

"He doesn't know Gordon like we know him!" He takes a breath. "Your brother is a fighter, we know that he won't give up."

"But what if he does?"

"Then we help him. He needs you Alan."

"What can I do?"

"Come, and sit beside him." I hesitate, I feel a shudder of fear circulate through my body. But as I watch my Father's pleading eyes, I cannot help but move myself closer to Gordon's bedside. I look at my brother. His eyelids are slowly flickering, he looks like he's trying to wake himself up again. "I know Gordon scared you Alan" Father spoke as he placed his arm around my shoulder. "You were the only one who was with him when he first woke up. And I know that was hard to see him so vulnerable, but you're his brother and he needs you. He needs the Alan that makes him laugh, his best friend that helps him pull pranks, the only brother he can talk to about how he's really feeling. Please Alan, don't give up on your brother, help me bring him back." I can feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, but I can't be bothered to wipe them away.

"Alright." I choke. "I'm going to help him." I feel myself being pulled into a hug and I grip tightly around my Father. The anger that I felt slowly disappears and is now replaced with a sense of duty that I will help my brother. I don't know how I can help him exactly, but for now I'll make sure I'm with him every step of the way.

Our hug is suddenly interrupted as Gordon begins to groan. I move away from Father and watch as Gordon gradually opens his eyes. "Hey sleepyhead." I say as I carefully grasp Gordon's injured hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Alan?" Gordon mumbles. It takes a moment for his eyes to focus on me. "I'm sorry" he says.

"What for?" I ask.

"I was mean to you. I wasn't a good brother."

"Hey. Don't worry about it." I say as I brush my fingers through Gordon's hair to get it out of his eyes. He could really do with a haircut. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Sore." He groans, he looks at Father. "But I'm fine."

"Do you remember..." Gordon stares an uncertain glance at me as I change the subject. "That time in the old house. Where we all had to share one bathroom, and one day you thought it would be funny to put green dye in Scott's shampoo bottle." I wait for a moment for Gordon to recognize the story, but he just stares unknowingly at me.

"Oh I remember this one." Father chuckles. "Whose hair did you really dye Gordon?" I can see Gordon getting really frustrated, he's trying to remember but he can't.

"I don't know." Gordon cries, he's anger boils up again "Why can't I remember!" He shouts. I forgot that his memory was still fragile, why am I so stupid.

"Hey, it's okay." I say trying to maintain myself from breaking down to tears. "I'll give you a clue. It's someone in this room." Gordon looks across to Father and then to me I can see tears welling in his eyes.

"I don't remember." he mumbled.

I don't really know what to say, I was just trying to make Gordon laugh. I wanted to distract him from the pain that he was dealing with, but now I've just upset him.

"Alan. Please continue the story" Father pleads. I cough to clear my throat which draws Gordon's attention back to me.

"It was you Gordo. You dyed your own hair green."

"Oh, well that was silly of me." he says.

"Yeah, you and Scott have the same shampoo, you must've forgotten about it at the time." I feel defeated. I place Gordon's hand back on the bed and run my fingers through my hair. Gordon looks like he's drifting off to sleep again. I do hope that Gordon will get better soon, I don't know how much longer I can take without seeing him smile and laugh.

**To be Continued**


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